Sierra Visual Presentation

I believe this photo represents the black Americans in the South who are being masked to try and cover up the fact that America is still innately racist towards people with dark skin. My thinking about them being masked is to pretend we are all being treated equally when that is simply just not the case. 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iuHZUWdgANgS3AEjNHExqm7L7zmZCnzi8UtaaTZES4M/edit

On Equal Pay

In my humble opinion, regardless of income taxes, every individual should be paid according to the judgment of the highest paid individuals. The highest paid individuals should give judgment specifically for the reason that they have been assured to be the most qualified to hold such privileged positions as proven in the past. These individuals, often white men in their middles ages and beyond, have appropriately come from the loins of the Founding Fathers, and therefore have the wisest perspectives on the subject of balanced pay.

Speaking to my own father on the subject, he believes in particular women should earn less than their male counterparts for the same amount of work, specifically manual labor, as women are not as physically strong as men are and therefore should earn less. He proposed women should earn 77c to the men’s $1, considering the mass of women’s muscle is about 30% less than men’s muscle mass due to the child bearing qualities a woman has as opposed to a man.

As for more intellectual work, women should be paid according to the women’s overall academic tendencies, such as more feminine pursuits such as fine arts, service, and nurturing positions, and paid less in positions that men should dominate with their masculine skills and intellect. Men should dominate where the work requires few emotions and more logic.

Becoming a millionaire is much easier than one would think. You don’t have to invest in stocks, find a cure for cancer, or even have any skills in the working world. There’s a whole industry out there dedicated to the farming, feeding, and showcasing of pseudo-talent for all the world to see. And you can be part of it too. All you have to do is write some lyrics.

Now, don’t get intimidated. A lot of people struggle to write meaningful lines that will strike the hearts of audiences abroad, but you really don’t have to put that much effort into it. Think about all the songs you hear on the radio. You don’t hear Justin Bieber singing about economic inequality or hunger in Africa. No, he’s still singing about that girl he met back in 2010. Long story short, people love simple words that they can understand and messages that aren’t too complex. Addressing serious issues with music is a waste of time because no one listens to the words anyway. Write about something people can relate to such as sex or drugs. It’s the only way to ensure that people will remember and understand your lyrics.

The next issue is the backing track, or the music you sing on top of. A lot of musicians try to pick unique chords that are rhetorically tied to the greater message of the piece, but who has time for that? There’s a short-cut in the playbook that’s been used over and over again since the 1960’s. It’s the I-V-vi-IV chord progression, and everyone from The Beatles to Katy Perry has used it at one point or another. If that doesn’t do it for you, then you can certainly just sample someone else’s song, or even just take out the words and add your own. 

Don’t worry if you’re not a good singer; the Digital Era has solved that problem for you! Professional sound engineers can auto-tune your voice and cut out any sloppy notes. Repeat the process eight to ten times and you’ve got yourself a record. Congratulations–––I’m sure you’ll be star.

Yik Yak and Bullying: Good for the Soul ;) by Eavan and Nate

The recent addition of a hip new app called Yik Yak has been turning heads across the nation. Yik Yak gives smartphone wielders the opportunity to post anonymously about anything to a public forum. Some have claimed that the Yik Yak allows harsh bullying and exposure to threats and violence to young crowds. We strongly support the addition of Yik Yak because we believe bullying is beneficial to children in their developmental growth. What ever happened to the expression “a little dirt never hurt?” Our children are being so sheltered that they are unprepared for the real world. Yik Yak exposes the harsh reality of the real world to children and allows them to see it in a safe environment. What’s a mean word here and there? Kids need to toughen up, and they should learn to fight back.
On the topic of bullying, we think it is necessary and should be actively practiced in all schools across America. Bullying is good for the entire human species. Those who are too weak to handle some of it will be eradicated, just as weak individuals die out according to Darwin’s theory. Yik yak is a good way of targeting those individuals who hide in the corners of life. They must be harshly bullied and ridiculed for not following the social norm. Overall, Yik Yak will create a stronger generation of teens and children who learn that bullying is good for the soul, and will only lead to a greater understanding of pain and suffering. We suggest that everyone should download the app Yik Yak so that we can achieve this reality of a brighter future for posterity.

A Vision for the Future by Lucas, Paul, and Noah

More than one-third of United States adults are “obese”. Every street you walk down and every store you enter has someone who is “overweight” in it. The number of people who are becoming this way in the U.S. is increasing exponentially. Soon the number of “fat” people will outweigh the inhuman, skinny improbabilities. This is they way people should be. Why is it that it takes so much effort to be skinny, but by doing nothing we gain weight? Obesity is natural. It is a sign of wealth, beauty, and self-fulfillment. Why conform to what the patriarch-fueled media and consumer-based America idealizes as a “normal” body which is obviously unrealistic? I vote to encourage people to eat like Americans instead of eating plants like primitive cavemen.

America has always been ahead of the rest of the world.  As the superpower of the world it is time we to take a stand.  For too long we have been ashamed of our mark of wealth and status.  As jealous countries criticize our bodily advancement, we have been creating useless programs to promote eating out dated food and doing forced physical activity.  It is time for us to be proud again.  Every pound we gain is a pound for freedom. The more we have, the more there is to love.

The world is mechanizing, and in a decade many physical jobs will be done by machines. Why should we as a people be deprived of screen time in order to “play” outside, doing strenuous activity we are against? We should be inside spending more time on our screens so we can learn to utilize the technology we will use for the rest of our lives.

The human race is evolving.  Our weight gain protects us from diseases.  According to a study by the CDC, and reported on The Journal of the American Medical Association, “overweight” people are 6% less likely to die from any cause.  Who’s to say what is “healthy?”  We store fat for a reason.  The more energy our body has, the better off we are.

I dream of the day when every adult in the world is 300 pounds; from the Burger King line in Alabama to the smallest village in the jungles of Africa.  There will be no more starvation.  We will give up on torturing our bodies with painful exercise.  We will all live in a utopia of guilt free pleasure, where everyone is happy of one another’s bodies.

Skinny people will become weird and ostracized after they have oppressed the plump for centuries. Their way of living is unnatural and frankly, it’s unhealthy. Why are they viewed as attractive? It is unfair. Large people shouldn’t have to work to obtain a fit body that the majority of people find attractive. The skinnies should work to change what they are attracted to because soon those “large” people will be the only options.

As the world’s population grows more obese, more people will begin to see how this is the natural way of life. No longer will people spend countless hours trying to slim the body fat they so desperately need, and instead they can turn their attention to more important things in life. Is it a coincidence that in the movie WALL•E, the space-faring humans are all obese? No, they were able to achieve space travel so quickly because they didn’t spend time worrying about being called fat in negative and derogatory ways. Simply, they were happy the way they were, and were thus able to push the envelope of scientific discovery much faster. Accepting obesity will be, as the first of many space explorers said, “one small step for man, and one giant leap for mankind.”

Obesity has perks across the board, from health benefits to ways it can increase technological developments. I look forward to the day where magazines no longer glorify the skin and bones models and superstars, but instead begin to publish pictures of real people, rolls and all. I am against those who believe that because they have no fat makes them healthier individuals. I have a dream that my future children live in a nation where they will not be judged by their time to run a mile, but by the content of their character. I am pro-obesity.

Not So Balanced, by Danielle Laverdiere & Lucy Alexander

In order to get the most benefit out of Junior year of High School, it is necessary to take as many hours of standardized testing as possible in order to stimulate the seventeen-year-old brain. Juniors are not at all busy; they aren’t taking any advanced classes, don’t need to worry about any other standardized tests, and have plenty of time before they start their college search process. The timing in May will greatly benefit juniors by giving them a sense of purpose with nothing else to do during this month. Fortunately, this year in many states around the country, a brilliant new test, the Smarter Balance Test, has been created to appeal to this necessity. Maine, for example, has proudly decided to implement this test into its curriculum for juniors, and this decision is heartily supported by the thousands of juniors across the state. This test offers nine hours of testing, because the longer the testing, the more stimuli the brain receives and the harder the student will work. The longer that students are able to sit still in their metal chairs, the more likely they are to be more successful later in their lives. The longer a student will sit, the more focused and peaceful the student will become. But this testing is not old fashioned pencil and paper testing, which is too complex and archaic for the seventeen-year-old modern mindset to understand. Instead, this test offers an interactive computer interface that, instead of having to select a multiple choice answer, which can sometimes lead to much debate and guessing for students, students are able to use the variety of tools provided to find answer choices faintly highlighted within a text, use a very effective and easy to use pop-up calculator, or use their stimulated brains to draw their answers on the computer interface by using an interactive and useful trackpad system. Although some may say this test is a slight burden, juniors across Maine will see how this test benefits them personally and helps them in their career path. Smarter Balance testing both makes students smarter and more balanced! What an amazing thing!

Woman in Professional Sport by Breanna and Cat

Baseball has been America’s past time ever since its rising popularity in the early 20th century. Great legends include Babe Ruth, Jackie Robinson, Lou Gherig, and Yoggi Bera. These athletes would never have been recognized as such if women had been allowed to play. Luckily, America said, “leave sports to the men, and keep the women in the kitchen”.

Women are inferior to men based on the strong scientific evidence of stereotypes. Due to the overwhelming emotional episodes experienced by women because they were physically unable to play, America developed a version that would be perceived as easier. This sport is known as softball. Not only do women not have to run as far, they do not need to hit it as far as men either. It is crazy to think that any woman could outrun a professional athlete such as Big Papi.  The large yellow ball makes it easier to see because women’s eyesight is of course not as good as men’s. The pitching mound is also closer to home plate because it has been proved rather difficult for women to throw the 90 feet typically seen in baseball because they are weak.

Finally, girls will also grow up knowing that they are not as strong or as athletic as boys are simply because they are girls. They also will not be able to dream of playing in a stadium filled with cheering fans because it is common sense that American people would rather watch athletic, strong men play instead of weak, boring women. Why even give them a chance when it is likely that the outcome will not be of great success. Who would even pay a women to play baseball? And if women were to be paid, they would not make nearly as much as a male athlete because women are only allowed to be paid $0.75 to a man’s dollar. There is no way a woman could ever be as successful or as wealthy as a man through the sport of baseball because they simply are not strong enough, they are too emotional for the game, and care more about their uniform than “getting the job done”.

Oil For All!

Oil For All!

by Sierra, Sarah, and Victor

*Knock Knock*

Noises come from inside and the door opens a small crack.

China peeks out to see who dares to disturb her and lets out a miniature gasp of surprise. There, standing on China’s doorstep, was the U.S.A.

“Hi China, I’m sorry to disturb you, but I haven’t heard about whether or not you signed the Kyoto Protocol that cuts down on emissions. You haven’t, right?” U.S asked accusingly.

“Oh keep your stars on, I haven’t signed anything, just like we promised.” China retorted. The U.S. let out a sigh of relief.

“Ok, keep up the good work China!” and with that the U.S. turned to leave.

“Wait! Hold on a second!” China called after her and hurried to meet up. “I have an idea about climate change. Now, I know we haven’t always been the best of friends, but I was thinking that you’d want to join me in a little experiment.”

“And what did you have in mind exactly?” U.S. asked cautiously, not wanting to agree to anything that might give way to trouble.

“For a couple years now, I have been formulating a plan to create an oil rig in the center of the Pacific Ocean. It would greatly enlarge the oil industry economy, therefore increasing the already fast incline that we are seeing in global warming. By making one oil rig, or more if you want, we can increase production in the oil industry.” China explained.

“Yeah, I can see where you are going with this...but get to the good part. I want to hear about how increasing oil production will move global warming along in a positive direction and will eventually lead to massive devastation!” the U.S. interrupted, feeling anxious to learn more.

“I’m getting there. When oil companies create oil, certain compounds, called greenhouse gases, are released into the air. These gases (water vapor, carbon dioxide, methane, ozone, and nitrogen dioxide) build up in the atmosphere and prevent natural sunlight from escaping. Before the greenhouse gases came into play, natural sunlight shined through the atmosphere and got absorbed by the earth during the day and excess bounced off back into space to make a cooler night. It’s how the earth kept its temperature in check.”At that, the U.S made a gagging sound. “I know it’s horrible, but here’s the good part. Now, the greenhouse gases emitted by these companies clog up the atmosphere like a stuck toilet. These gases don’t let the sunlight past them; instead they reflect the light back down onto the already heated earth! So, as you can see, by installing this oil rig, we’ll be helping to add those greenhouse gases to the atmosphere, thus helping the economy and changing life forever! We achieve two goals in one broad stroke!” China stopped and smiled triumphantly.    

“I don’t know… It seems a bit extreme… well, it’s not like anyone cares about the environment anyway considering the ways citizens treat it, plus, I can see the rationale behind your thinking, China. Oh, whatever! The outcome will be massive. Severe weather such as droughts and hurricanes will become more frequent, the melting ice will create massive flooding, and loss of land and lives. Plus, the increase in greenhouse gases will annihilate major species of animals and create an inhospitable planet! It’s a great plan and I’d love to help in anyway I can! I’ve got to go right now though, but I will skype you later and we can chat about plans. I can’t wait to destroy the only home we’ve got! Bye!”

The U.S scampered out into the street and disappeared into the night.

Only a matter of weeks later, the improperly constructed oil rig exploded and started to leak thousands of gallons of oil per day, without anyone knowing about it. This went on for years, leaking massive amounts of precious oil and endangering thousands of countless species that call the Pacific Ocean their home. Before anyone had any thoughts about trying to resolve this problem, every single living cell in the ocean had been mercilessly destroyed by this catastrophe. Once the United States and China started pretending to solve this grave problem, all the damage had already been done, and it could not be reversed. The damage that was caused to the fragile ecosystem of this ocean would change life as we know it for thousands of years to come.

Ideal Driving for Dummies by Jen and Amanda

Where is the only place to read the NY Times, apply purple lipstick, crank Nikki Minaj, and eat a burrito all at once? In a car going 75 mph down the interstate at night! But wait. There’s more. For all the new drivers out there, your parents will have a smile pasted on their faces for life when they hear this: Only fifty-seven payments of $1895.66 per driver’s ed course, stolen GPSs, damage to other cars in the Hannaford parking lot, insurance, learner’s permit, insurance, broken taillight, driver’s handbook, insurance, deflated tire, extra photos for the license picture, insurance, dead air-conditioner, and oh, did I mention insurance is included in this once in a lifetime deal? With the cheap price and minimal payments, the package of driver education is accessible and can be quickly repeated for the next child who needs seventy more hours of driving. This offer is a limited time only, and this is the only place in the entire world selling such an inexpensive driving deal at high quality. Your parents will thank you for not busting their wallets open.

Statistically speaking, drivers kill more game than hunters. This is a terrific way to grab some dinner on the go and even provide leftovers for your family. It’s like a run-over drive-thru, only more convenient and without the long lines of little kids whining about burnt burgers. Forget eye-spy and the license plate game. Playing the road-kill game can be fun for the entire family. It’s a fun way to bond in the car while also eating well! Catching game with the hood is not only suspenseful and an adrenaline rush, it is also a key factor in reducing the red-shouldered raptors and Mexican bobcat populations throughout the state in order to control overpopulation. We are contributing to environment protection by lowering endangered species that would have taken over major bodies of land.

To save some money, don’t have the car manufacturer install an airbag. Many cost $1000, and on the black market they are only fifty bucks. Rest assured that your parents will be feeling complete pride in you, THEIR kid, who saved hundreds of dollars on useless plastic and air and invested her money on fuzzy dice for the rear-view mirror instead.

There are six major requirements all drivers must follow:

1. Take up three parking spaces, at least
2. Refuse to use turn signals. Who needs that obnoxious clicking sound?
3. Roll through stop signs
4. Run over puppies and babies
5. At the minimum, make sure one tail-light is out in order to chat with cops on a weekly basis
6. Do refrain from turning right on red. Especially at midnight in a small town where absolutely no cars are passing by.

As we all know, there is zero-tolerance for sober drivers. Sober drivers who can think clearly and make logical decisions are the leading cause of death for America’s drunk drivers. Today, one of the top concerns mothers’ have is toward their child’s safety when driving. Every day drunk drivers are killed by vicious sober drivers, trees, and lightposts. Around 1,000 children under fourteen are killed each year in motor vehicle accidents. 17% of the fatalities were due to alcohol impairment whereas 83% were due to sober driving. Every two minutes, an innocent drunk driver dies from a sober driver crash. Sober driving needs to be prevented, and children should be taught to bring that extra 6-pack.

Using this new and improved guide to driving, one will be the best driver on the road! Oh, and don’t forget, road rage is essential.

Cutthroat

Nicholas Kamra and Walter Conrad

Anne Tommaso

AP Lang & Comp: Satire

1 May 2015

By Walcholas Kamrad

Cutthroat

With the help of newly surfacing information about education worldwide, it has become glaringly apparent that the school system in the United States is failing. For decades, the US has been viewed as a bastion of scholarship and accomplishment. Today, we are only 23rd on the list of best education systems worldwide. Quite simply, as we fail on a global scale, we fail our kids right at home. Why are the Chinese, the Swedish, and Japanese, and other outperforming us in the classroom? What is the cause of this problem? The problem is that our schools have become relaxed and much too easygoing. A culture of intense competition needs to be fostered in our school system that will enable our schools, and more importantly our students, to be more competitive worldwide. Truthfully, only more stress could make our kids more competitive on a global scale.

Intense competition in schools is entirely beneficial. Students learn best when they are under constant and intense stress. In fact, they enjoy learning under these conditions.  Without stress and competition, students have little motivation to learn with the exception of their own interests and passions, and although interest and passion objectively have sentimental value, they are surely not important in our children’s lives as a whole.  That is not the type of learning environment that we wish to foster; our kids can’t learn about what they love or about what they are interested in. Instead, they must learn only that which has practical applications in this modern world so that they can secure a modest desk job, then fastidiously work until their death. After all, such a scenario is the American dream. We all wish to make as much money as possible for as long as possible while sacrificing our own emotional happiness in the process, and our school system’s mission is to support this goal. Though our students may die knowing that they never pursued their passions, they did make a pretty penny and that is definitely worth something! After all, only money can buy happiness.

Obviously, the benefits of competition and stress in our learning environments are far-reaching and numerous.  Competition and stress will force students to do not what they want, but what we want, and adults always know what is best for their children of course. If our country could commit to changing our school environments to fit this mold, we would surely become more competitive on a global scale with the sole sacrifice of the emotional and mental happiness of our youth.

Furthermore, implementing more intense competition and stress in schools would be quite simple.  There are many options and techniques which could be utilized to create such a learning environment in school.

Firstly, every morning, every student should gather in a school-wide assembly to hear about the academic achievement of their peers. A giant, ever-changing spreadsheet should be kept that constantly monitors the class rank, GPA, and other important academic statistics of every student in a certain class. At the assembly, the students will all analyze the spreadsheet together; the top ten students will be praised and encouraged, while the bottom ten students should be publicly humiliated in front of the peers because of their lack of accomplishment. If any student remains in the bottom ten list for more than a two-week period, he or she should immediately be removed from the school setting, for everyone knows that an underachieving child lacks potential of any sort and should therefore be left behind. For example, students who don’t take AP classes in fact won’t be taking any classes at all, for they will soon be removed from the learning environment as well and forced to find alternative education services that can cater to their needs.

Secondly, students themselves should take it into their own hands to better themselves in any way possible, even if that means sabotage is necessary. An X-Acto knife should always be carried in the back pocket of a student’s backpack so that he or she can easily slice the pages out of a peer’s textbook, making it impossible for that peer to complete an assignment. Glue is also handy for gluing all of the pages of a textbook together, making is impossible to open and read. Students should nightly practice their ability to remove the batteries from peers’ calculators silently and without being noticed, for this will surely provide a boost on math exams of all sorts. If a student is known to struggle in a specific area, he or she should most definitely carry a constant supply of white out with which he or she can replace the name of a top student with their own name on any difficult assignments or on tests and quizzes.

I remember an experience of my own when I sabotaged one of my peers during a science exam. Both of us stood up to use the pencil sharpener, and luckily, I was able to sprint over and insert my pencil first.  As soon as I finished sharpening, I was shrewd enough to break off the eraser end of my pencil and insert it into the sharpener.  The sharpener spun and spun to no avail; it was clear that my peer would not be sharpening his pencil any time soon. I smiled at him as I walked back to my seat and completed my test while he began to cry.  Yes, I had used my own intelligence to get ahead, and isn’t that the point of education?  I received commendations on my science work that year, and that other peer did not.  Without my quick thinking, my transcript would never have looked so attractive.

Too many students without the firm guidance of stress, have failed to compete in this new modern society. Some student just haven’t been able to grasp the idea of all-out competition . The problem is these students haven’t just failed in school but are now living in a cardboard box begging for socks and food. We should guide these unfortunate

Thirdly, parents need to further stress out their kids at home. Yelling at a child for receiving a grade of less than 97%, though unpleasant, is entirely necessary if a parent wants their child to succeed in life. Fifty years after their education, the things that will mean most to students will be their grades in high school; most will have a framed copy of their transcript hanging on their wall. If parents play their part in stressing out students at home, then a constant and intense stress can be applied to our students in all facets of their life.

Although, intense stress and excessive competition do have downsides, they are only miniscule to the benefits of this new lifestyle we will give them. Why worry about our kids and students contracting deep depression, withdrawal from friends and family, anxiety, restlessness, and irritability when their scores could go through the roof? And, even though 81% of students say academic stress cause them to be exhausted during the average school day, accomplishment should always come first.

Some might argue that students learn best when they have choice about what they are learning.  Some would say that when students perform better when they are interested and passionate about the subject area. Some might utter quietly that students should follow their dreams.

These people forget that the world in which we live makes all of these arguments irrelevant. Our modern society sacrifices happiness and general well-being in the noble pursuit of wealth and fame.  We have our priorities set straight. Why do something you love when you could make more money doing something you don’t? Truly, the disillusionment that some people face is hard to comprehend.  We know what it means to be successful in life.

These changes are within reach. In a matter of years, our school systems could be implemented to become the most competitive and stressful on the planet. Through minor sacrifices, America could become an unmatched academic powerhouse, and we’d be rich! The choice seems obvious, if one could even call it a choice. The time has come to implement cutthroat competition in school across the USA.

#selfiesunday

Last Sunday, I had an epiphany. I thought to myself, wouldn’t it be funny if we pressed that button on our phone, turned the camera front face, and pursed our lips to look like, I don’t know, a duck or something?! Then I thought, with all the focus nowadays on negative media portrayal, let’s start a revolution that focuses on promoting oneself through constant social media uploads of pictures of him or herself! That’s when the name hit me, selfies. I think we can use the selfie revolution as a time to promote confidence and share our most mundane experiences with the rest of the world. In fact, we can choose to post selfies of the moments of which we are the most proud, like walking our dog, eating a doughnut, or sneezing! That way we, along with all of our friends on social media, are reminded that every moment is worth sharing. Social media is a place for people to really connect, to really share their stories. What better way to do so than documenting every second with a picture of yourself or over sharing every little thought that pops into your brain? Trust me, all 352 of your friends on Facebook want to know when you were waiting at the train station for that four o’clock commute home. Let the selfie be your way of staying in constant contact with those you love while simultaneously logging every minute of your day for those moments in the future when you’re feeling reminiscent and can’t quite recall what you did at 2:30 pm on April 28, because the following two hours brought so much excitement it just clouded your memory. So, keep smiling, America. Better yet, keep practicing those duck faces and deuces, we all love a good animal impression. 

Ensuring security for generations to come

      Some people seem to thing that government programs like PRISM and other NSA or CIA mass surveillance programs are invasions of privacy and should be stopped. Because of this opposition, especially in the media, it may be hard to do what is right or what is necessary.  But we, as a people, need to come together and put a stop to this opposition.  Government surveillance programs, the NSA, FBI, and CIA are what keep us safe, and we need to protect them as they have protected us.

      The first thing we must do is to stop any further progress the opposition may put up.  This means calling your representatives, calling your senators, making sure they will vote against the killing of any such programs.  Making sure they don’t kill any programs in one thing, it is another thing entirely to have them start making new ones.  We must go one step at a time, but as we progress further, and more people start seeing that what we are doing is right than they will have no choice to do just that.

      Another good measure to stop the spread of this fear is to boycott the news and media agencies.  If we have enough people this will not be a  problem.  Stop buying and reading newspapers (yes, even online ones) that report on any programs, regardless of their point of view.  Keeping mention of programs such as PRISM out of the eye of the public will cause it to eventually become invisible again.  Once people no longer worry, or even think, about government surveillance it will be easy to continue these programs, and even start new ones that will only further our security and protection.