Cutthroat

Nicholas Kamra and Walter Conrad

Anne Tommaso

AP Lang & Comp: Satire

1 May 2015

By Walcholas Kamrad

Cutthroat

With the help of newly surfacing information about education worldwide, it has become glaringly apparent that the school system in the United States is failing. For decades, the US has been viewed as a bastion of scholarship and accomplishment. Today, we are only 23rd on the list of best education systems worldwide. Quite simply, as we fail on a global scale, we fail our kids right at home. Why are the Chinese, the Swedish, and Japanese, and other outperforming us in the classroom? What is the cause of this problem? The problem is that our schools have become relaxed and much too easygoing. A culture of intense competition needs to be fostered in our school system that will enable our schools, and more importantly our students, to be more competitive worldwide. Truthfully, only more stress could make our kids more competitive on a global scale.

Intense competition in schools is entirely beneficial. Students learn best when they are under constant and intense stress. In fact, they enjoy learning under these conditions.  Without stress and competition, students have little motivation to learn with the exception of their own interests and passions, and although interest and passion objectively have sentimental value, they are surely not important in our children’s lives as a whole.  That is not the type of learning environment that we wish to foster; our kids can’t learn about what they love or about what they are interested in. Instead, they must learn only that which has practical applications in this modern world so that they can secure a modest desk job, then fastidiously work until their death. After all, such a scenario is the American dream. We all wish to make as much money as possible for as long as possible while sacrificing our own emotional happiness in the process, and our school system’s mission is to support this goal. Though our students may die knowing that they never pursued their passions, they did make a pretty penny and that is definitely worth something! After all, only money can buy happiness.

Obviously, the benefits of competition and stress in our learning environments are far-reaching and numerous.  Competition and stress will force students to do not what they want, but what we want, and adults always know what is best for their children of course. If our country could commit to changing our school environments to fit this mold, we would surely become more competitive on a global scale with the sole sacrifice of the emotional and mental happiness of our youth.

Furthermore, implementing more intense competition and stress in schools would be quite simple.  There are many options and techniques which could be utilized to create such a learning environment in school.

Firstly, every morning, every student should gather in a school-wide assembly to hear about the academic achievement of their peers. A giant, ever-changing spreadsheet should be kept that constantly monitors the class rank, GPA, and other important academic statistics of every student in a certain class. At the assembly, the students will all analyze the spreadsheet together; the top ten students will be praised and encouraged, while the bottom ten students should be publicly humiliated in front of the peers because of their lack of accomplishment. If any student remains in the bottom ten list for more than a two-week period, he or she should immediately be removed from the school setting, for everyone knows that an underachieving child lacks potential of any sort and should therefore be left behind. For example, students who don’t take AP classes in fact won’t be taking any classes at all, for they will soon be removed from the learning environment as well and forced to find alternative education services that can cater to their needs.

Secondly, students themselves should take it into their own hands to better themselves in any way possible, even if that means sabotage is necessary. An X-Acto knife should always be carried in the back pocket of a student’s backpack so that he or she can easily slice the pages out of a peer’s textbook, making it impossible for that peer to complete an assignment. Glue is also handy for gluing all of the pages of a textbook together, making is impossible to open and read. Students should nightly practice their ability to remove the batteries from peers’ calculators silently and without being noticed, for this will surely provide a boost on math exams of all sorts. If a student is known to struggle in a specific area, he or she should most definitely carry a constant supply of white out with which he or she can replace the name of a top student with their own name on any difficult assignments or on tests and quizzes.

I remember an experience of my own when I sabotaged one of my peers during a science exam. Both of us stood up to use the pencil sharpener, and luckily, I was able to sprint over and insert my pencil first.  As soon as I finished sharpening, I was shrewd enough to break off the eraser end of my pencil and insert it into the sharpener.  The sharpener spun and spun to no avail; it was clear that my peer would not be sharpening his pencil any time soon. I smiled at him as I walked back to my seat and completed my test while he began to cry.  Yes, I had used my own intelligence to get ahead, and isn’t that the point of education?  I received commendations on my science work that year, and that other peer did not.  Without my quick thinking, my transcript would never have looked so attractive.

Too many students without the firm guidance of stress, have failed to compete in this new modern society. Some student just haven’t been able to grasp the idea of all-out competition . The problem is these students haven’t just failed in school but are now living in a cardboard box begging for socks and food. We should guide these unfortunate

Thirdly, parents need to further stress out their kids at home. Yelling at a child for receiving a grade of less than 97%, though unpleasant, is entirely necessary if a parent wants their child to succeed in life. Fifty years after their education, the things that will mean most to students will be their grades in high school; most will have a framed copy of their transcript hanging on their wall. If parents play their part in stressing out students at home, then a constant and intense stress can be applied to our students in all facets of their life.

Although, intense stress and excessive competition do have downsides, they are only miniscule to the benefits of this new lifestyle we will give them. Why worry about our kids and students contracting deep depression, withdrawal from friends and family, anxiety, restlessness, and irritability when their scores could go through the roof? And, even though 81% of students say academic stress cause them to be exhausted during the average school day, accomplishment should always come first.

Some might argue that students learn best when they have choice about what they are learning.  Some would say that when students perform better when they are interested and passionate about the subject area. Some might utter quietly that students should follow their dreams.

These people forget that the world in which we live makes all of these arguments irrelevant. Our modern society sacrifices happiness and general well-being in the noble pursuit of wealth and fame.  We have our priorities set straight. Why do something you love when you could make more money doing something you don’t? Truly, the disillusionment that some people face is hard to comprehend.  We know what it means to be successful in life.

These changes are within reach. In a matter of years, our school systems could be implemented to become the most competitive and stressful on the planet. Through minor sacrifices, America could become an unmatched academic powerhouse, and we’d be rich! The choice seems obvious, if one could even call it a choice. The time has come to implement cutthroat competition in school across the USA.